Current mood:

accomplished

So...

I got a research position in a lab that does behavioral neuroscience studies focusing on the ingestive behavior of rats. I actually got it last week but didn't really want to talk about it just yet as I had more important things on the mind I needed to get out first. Of course, Rose is important and totally in my mind.. as if she wouldn't be, when I just got a lab position where as the low man on the totem pole, for awhile at least I will affectively be playing with rats.

Though for the time being I only get to "handle (play with) and weight (play with)" the rats, I also get to watch interesting things they do in the lab like brain imaging stuff and surgery on the little ratkins. Today we get a brand new group of little friends who I get to meet and make friends with. Yesterday I was watching the newest grad assistants learn how to slice little sections of brain. As I've actually dissected rats before (and the other new guys prob haven't actually, come to think of it.. weird - these are all psych people)... it didn't actually look too hard. I think I'll be pretty good at this lab as the chem/o chem has left me with a pretty fine tuned understanding of how important it is to be precise/accurate I think, if the animal dissections haven't.

I'm so freakin psyched to work in this lab, and Dr Daniels the Prof has published tons of papers and is really great.


My brain is flooded with memories of Sarah, which I suppose at this point is pretty much to be expected. It's sort of stupid/sad/morbid of me but I actually had a really dumb new years resolution this year to have none of my friends die. My dad pointed out the amount of stress/helplessness I put on myself by making this a resolution, which is  true... Anyway, it was the only thing I really desperately wanted. It like swallows everything good that happened in a way. Like, oh, 2007, I remember what happened that year. And i still think about it. Losing a friend makes the chill of february creep into my bones, but I am sure Sarah is off on some big adventure right now, and will share it with me some day.

Since Wednesday, basically the whole love thing has been bitter-sweet, because everytime I think about how wonderful and perfect things are with Josh, I think about how unfair it is for Nate to have to lose Sarah. But wow, how lucky they are to have found each other in this life.