Current mood:

crazy

It's weird how conflict and it's resolution can make you feel better then you did before the initial conflict ever took place.

Every time Josh and I argue, the resolution feels so good it's incredible. Like I just won a prize or something. The ability we have to actually resolve things, talk them out honestly, and work something out instead of one of us just bullying the other or love-brainwashing each other into stuff is incredible.

Really, really communication is delicious. Talking to him is like talking to... my sisters or something. They're really the only ones comparable.

I've been feeling kind of disconnected lately and I'm a little suspicious that House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski is part of the reason. It's a great book but in order to really get into it you sort of have to let those borders between sanity and insanity levels slip a little. I feel like I'm in Black Tea, and I keep failing sanity checks.

The madness is lovely while I'm reading, and I am in awe of the state of mind he can invoke and the little clues I am better at picking up as I go along, but as soon as I stop I feel awful. It's a weird experience. I get so caught up in books that once in awhile I come across one like this that rocks my world so much I wonder if this quality is actually a good one.

Of course, this is not going to stop me from reading the book. I owe it to  this work of art to forge ahead. I need to know what happens next, I need to know how crazy this author will make me, and if he will be able to satiate my need for fear that has been so unquenchable as of late.

Also, I'm excited! Tomorrow I'm spending a day at a monastery with Josh's mom and two littlest sisters. I even get part of the day to myself, for contemplation and stuff. Incredible! To share spiritual journeys with accumulated family. It's been so long since I've done something like that.

Just a small update. How are you?